I think men make too big a deal out of Valentine's Day. It's not an opportunity to prove your love. It shouldn't be a day to propose (too cheesy). It's just a chick holiday (we get the Super Bowl). So if you're dreading Valentine's Day and need some pointers to make it through smoothly and not end up on the couch, read below.

Remember, it's the thought that counts. And if that's not true for your lady, that's her fault, not yours. Do your due diligence and call it good.

  • 1

    Buy cheap chocolate

    I prefer Walgreens

    It's not your job to stock her treat drawer at work. She knows what she likes, let her buy it. Valentine's Day chocolate is more about ceremony than cocoa. You need a heart-shaped box that has some weight to it. If your woman is watching her figure she's not going to eat any anyway.

    Getty Images, Joe Raedle
  • 2

    Buy cheap flowers

    7-Eleven is fine!

    Women expect flowers on Valentine's Day. They don't expect a dozen, or two dozen, or red ones, or even roses. They PREFER them, but this isn't her birthday. Any flower will do -- fake or real. She's used to settling, she's with you isn't she?

    Getty Images, Cameron Spencer
  • 3

    Don't forget the candy hearts

    The originals are by NECCO.

    The way you score on Valentine's Day is NOT by spending a lot. It's by being romantic. Candy hearts are to a frugal romantic what a microphone is to a DJ. Put them in her makeup case, her drawers, her vanity, next to her shampoo, by her toothbrush and next to her favorite cereal. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!

  • 4

    Utilize your local dollar store

    Cheap perfume is a perfect gift

    Knockoff perfume and other cheap stuff from a dollar store is a perfect way of saying, "I remember Valentine's Day because I love you, but I think it's stupid." Be sincere when you give it to her and she'll remind herself "It's the thought that counts," and you make it out alive for 99 cents. Don't expect gratitude and don't betray your passive aggression. If you're lucky she'll only remember the candy flowers trick from that morning.

  • 5

    Sweethearts Comedy Soiree

    Consider letting us do the work for you

    Every lady at our Valentine's Day comedy show gets a flower and a treat. Appetizers are provided along with a no host bar. Singles are $40 and couples are $70. We take the work out of it for you.