I’m Writing a Dating Blog: ‘Dating 101′ — I Need Your Help!
So, I’m considering “dating” again, and what occurs to me is I really sort of cringe at the thought.
I occasionally will meet up with someone in a public place but shy away from letting someone pick me up or take me anywhere too personal.
My thoughts are, that it is perfectly okay to get to know a number of people as long as you aren’t ‘intimate” with any of them right? Of course let’s face it. If you’re seen around town with lots of different men, everyone will assume….(you know.)
Once you are, (intimate with someone) in my book that signals that you should stop seeing everyone else and focus on a monogamous relationship.
Naturally most men may not see it that way. And, not trying to pass judgement here, I’ve tried that too. Everyone has to do what works for them. But, if you’re looking for a long term meaningful relationship, seems like it’s right to be less casual in that department. I’ve never thought that was meant to be a casual thing. I know lots of people will disagree with me on that.
But back to “Dating Etiquette” So, is it okay to actually “Date” someone and have them pick you up and take you out and “court you” so to speak? And just let them know that you will be doing just that with many until you find the person who you will want more with? Seems sensible to me! But Yikes, it’s always so awkward when they see you with someone else or ask you out and you already have plans. And that’s when that queezy un easy feeling creeps into your gut like you’re doing something wrong, when it should be perfectly fine. Right? Ladies help me out here…what do you think? Men?
So why does this make sense to me yet, I find it terribly difficult?
Why does it all feel so awkward? Horrible actually.
I remember years ago when I lived in Utah before I was married I was Mormon, and I would date dozens of men, and none of them expected that you would be intimate with them because Mormons don’t believe in having sex before marriage.
That way you really took time to get to know a person without that being the focus of the relationship. Which looking back was a good thing. However, I also have found that when you have that “Chemistry” with someone whether you try or not It usually IS the focus! And then that of course is what makes you consider whether you could see that relationship becoming more monogamous and meaningful!
I’m always amazed at how many women in the Tri-Cities are single and how many plan to just stay that way! I wonder why it’s so difficult to find what we think is mate material.
Part of it all is just deciding HOW to date and what guidelines and boundaries we use in order to have a successful dating experience.
That’s where you come in! Give me your feedback. I will try to blog occasionally about what I’m discovering and if you want to send me your email and feedback I can implement that into my posts to share with others. I can leave you anonymous if you’d like. Just make sure you specify that.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Put in the subject line. “Dating 101″