Save Your Relationship…Don’t Forgive So Easily!
I’ve been known for being the most forgiving person in the world! I had to learn this lesson the hard way! Wish I would have read this about 30 years ago!! Pass it on…
Next time your husband or wife does something that makes you furious, here’s the best thing you can do for the marriage. Confront them . . . scream at them . . . and then flat-out REJECT their apology and hold a permanent grudge.
–According to a new study from the University of Tennessee, when you forgive your spouse for doing something bad, it doesn’t make your marriage better . . . it makes it WORSE.
–The reason? You’re sending the message that bad behavior is forgivable. By holding an eternal grudge, you show that what they did is NEVER ok and is never going to be ok.
–In the study, researchers found that people who forgave their spouse for doing something wrong were TWICE as likely to have their spouses do it again.
–And this ranged from mild bad behavior . . . like moodiness, nagging, or being inconsiderate . . . all the way up to horrific bad behavior . . . like abuse or cheating.
–James McNulty led the study. He says the reason you shouldn’t be too quick to forgive is, quote, “It may simply be that negatively behaving partners realize their negative behaviors have implications for them [like] anger and loneliness.”