Stop Using ‘LOL’ in Texts and Emails! — Start Using ‘SALTS’

"Smiled A Little, Then Stopped" (SALTS) is the new way to end, or reply to, text messages and emails. 98.3 The Key has joined a consortium of influential experts in calling for the immediate cessation of "LOL" -- because, let's be honest, no one is laughing out loud.
No one is really sure how LOL got started. It's cute and we all wished there was so much laughing out loud going on, but in reality there's not, and anybody who actually did laugh out loud that much would probably be sent to a loony bin. If we're really being candid, an uncontrolled snort is is probably the closest any of us has come to laughing out loud at a text or email.
SALTS is far more honest and just as easy to type. It's still positive. It's still a cute acronym. We believe this is a good change.
Please comply immediately and inform everyone you know so this problem can be fixed in a timely manner.