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30 Best ‘Yo Mama’ Jokes — In Response to Big Jim

lev dolgachov

My coworker is upset I blocked him on Facebook (he committed a major Facebook sin: he goes on and on and on about his new relationship — and I even warned him). He was trash talking me this morning, so here’s my response:

  • Yo mama so ugly her portraits hang themselves.
  • Yo mama so fat when she falls down she rocks herself to sleep trying to sit up
  • Yo mama so fat her memory foam forgot
  • Yo mama so unfamiliar with the gym she accidentally calls it James!
  • Yo mama so fat when she goes camping the bears hide THEIR food
  • Yo mama so fat when she was in school she sat next to evvverybody
  • Yo mama so fat when she looks in the mirror it says, “to be continued”
  • Yo mama so fat her blood type is Ragu
  • Yo mama so fat her Patronus is a cake
  • Yo mama so fat the Sorting Hat put her in the International House of Pancakes
  • Yo mama so fat she needs two watches for when she crosses time zones
  • Yo mama so fat my group photo is still printing
  • Yo mama so fat she won’t fit in a haiku
  • Yo mama so old her Bible is autographed
  • Yo mama so dumb when she hears it’s chilly outside she grabs a bowl
  • Yo mama so fat just thinking of her hurts bends my neck!
  • Yo mama so fat she gave Dracula diabetes
  • Yo mama so fat she doesn’t need Internet — she already world wide!
  • Yo mama so huge Dora gave up!
  • Yo mama so fat when she stands in the road traffic runs out of gas swerving
  • Yo mama so fat she can fall from both sides of the bed at the same time
  • Yo mama so poor at the park ducks throw bread at her
  • Yo mama so dumb she waited for the stop sign to turn green
  • Yo mama so fat her reflection quit
  • Yo mama so fat when she wears stilettos she strikes oil
  • Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family
  • Yo mama so fat she closed Myspace (no more space)
  • Yo mama so fat when she goes to the beach Green Peace pushes her in
  • Yo mama so fat she mistakes her scale for caller ID
  • Yo mama so fat she sat on the rainbow and made Skittles

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