Over the weekend a friend of mine asked me what the red flags are for when a spouse is cheating. His wife is ALWAYS on her smart phone interacting on Facebook. I’ve been through enough failed relationships to be a bit of an expert on the subject, so here we go:

Statistics suggest about 70 percent of affairs start online. This includes Facebook and other forms of social media as well as email communication. That means the easiest way to see if they’re having an affair is to monitor their online interactions.

  • Ask to be friends with them on Facebook or follow them on Twitter. Pay close attention to who responds to his/her posts most frequently.
  • Ask your significant other to let you check their text messages and emails just to build trust between the two of you. Be willing to reciprocate.
  • If they say no, and you’re REALLY worried about it, get up in the middle of the night and check their phone. You probably won’t find anything and this will damage trust between the two of you. Having an open policy regarding online accounts is far superior.
  • Trust your gut. Just because someone spends a lot of time online, or has online acquaintances of the opposite sex, doesn’t mean you should be suspicious. But if your gut tells you to be suspicious, always trust that.
  • Be worried if the two of you can’t seem to communicate well anymore.
  • Be worried if your sex life becomes troubled or non-existent.
  • Look inward. The worst thing a man can do is bore his wife. The same isn’t necessarily true of women, but the same principle applies. If all you do is “your stuff,” then he/she will wonder why the two of you are even together. If all you do is work, sleep, watch TV, pursue your hobby, etc. why should they want to be with you?

Regardless of what your gut is telling you, if you’re beginning to feel jealous or suspicious it’s time to make changes in your relationship.  If one of you is spending too much time on your phone, shut off the email, Facebook and Twitter notifications. Ask that person-to-person communication take priority over online communication. Then make sure positive, rewarding communication is taking place.