Confessions of a Failed Dog Owner: I Can’t Keep My Dogs Off the Bed! [VIDEO + PHOTO]

This is so embarrassing! That's why I'm laughing so hard in this video. Every day I re-commit to finding a way to keep my dogs OFF my bed and in crates at night so I can sleep! And it is a constant challenge. My one dog has horrible anxiety issues and anytime I put her in a crate she pants, shakes, cries and tears it to shreds. It's so traumatic for her that I have resolved to letting her sleep UNDER my bed. But then Ueey my Rhodesien Ridgeback keeps me awake all night by climbing on my bed every 10 minutes.  And no matter how many times, I get him off the bed, he climbs back on and at some point they both wear me down and I'm overcome by their cuteness and I just give up!

Over the weekend I bought a GIANT dog crate for Ueey. Determined to make this work, I put him in it and put Crystal in a big plastic dog kennel faced in direction of Ueey so they could see each other. She tore it to shreds! Broke the door! And then came knocking on my bedroom door!

So, I firmly took her back to the living room and this time put her in the big kennel with Ueey. I went to my room, closed the door and tried to sleep. I was awakened by clomping sounds and went out to check on them.

Crystal had pushed her nose through the wire of the crate and gotten her whole head stuck outside the crate. She was freaking out and in a cold sweat, and having a complete meltdown shaking, panting and crying.

I finally unlodged her head -- which was a similar experience as when she had her head stuck in the chain link fence when I tried to keep her in the dog yard I made for her outside!

Now keep in mind, this dog has torn out door jams, insulation, walls, carpet etc. and even chain link fence to get out, but for some reason I thought she would be okay in there with Ueey. Not SO! She apparently had her way with the dog bed too prior to sticking her head through the wire and this crate cost me $169 at Pet Smart.

So to date... let's see: $2,000 chain link fence, $300 for sod, for yard, plus $250 for curbing for dog yard, two shade tents totally $300, two shade trees both which have been shredded and chewed and are now dead costing $250. Two giant plastic dog crates: $99 each. One metal dog crate: $179. Five outside hoses, two doggy wading pools, vet appointments, anti-anxiety meds, and the list goes on.

I am seriously TAPPED OUT with these dogs!! And yet, at times of complete delirium from no sleep and so much stress I don't know what to do. I give up and let them on the bed in pure exhaustion. And if I didn't love them so much, I would toss them both out!  I need the dog whisperer! Caesar! Help!!!