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Bed pan my father gave my wife to reinvent

Is your family quirky? My uncle missed Thanksgiving because he was helping a mushroom farmer, my children used cement mix as magic flying powder, my host spent 30 minutes telling a story about mammoths, mastodons and the Kennewick Man. Then my dad, who drove my nephew four hours to rake leaves, left this ceramic bed pan with my wife because, he thought, she could reinvent it. Any ideas?

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