Best Sticks for Defending Yourself From Wanton Women

A video of an attractive woman walking around New York City and getting catcalled 100+ times is making headlines (see below for video). I can totally relate. I get harassed by women ALL THE TIME! It happened twice last night! My grandma used to say, "You'll be so handsome you'll be beating girls back with a stick!" Little did I know how right she'd be. Below are my favorite sticks for defending myself against unwelcome advances. These are for personal defense only.

Remember those old commercials for Hai Karate After Shave?

amazon.com
amazon.com
1
Ski poles
Con: they're too poky. I don't want to stab anyone.
Pro: they've got safety straps and contour handles so you can get a good grip.
amazon.com
amazon.com
2
Hiking stick
Pros: Light weight, long reach.
Cons: Too light weight and not fashionable.
amazon.com
amazon.com
3
Stability Cane
Pros: huge piece at the bottom works as both a shield and a club.
Cons: heavy, cumbersome and only used by 90 year olds.
amazon.com
amazon.com
4
Victorian Gentleman's Cane
Pros: fashionable and easy to swing.
Cons: you could really hurt someone.
amazon.com
amazon.com
5
Bamboo Cane
Pros: goes with any outfit. Just sounds fun. Strong, rigid, yet light weight.
Cons: not durable, easy to break.