Which Of the 5 Types of Tri-Cities Winter Drivers Are You?
1. I AM INVINCIBLE IN MY LIFTED 4-WHEEL-DRIVE
Generally speaking, vehicles like this can go pretty much anywhere. The problem is that the driver usually knows it and throws all common courtesy out the window in snowy conditions. It's always nice to see one of these in the ditch after hitting some black ice, but they usually don't stay there long, so try to point and laugh as quickly as you can when you see it happen.
2. I AM SCARED TO DEATH IN SNOW
Drivers like this start to feel nervous and queazy even at the sight of one single snowflake. There's really nothing you can do to convince them that going waaaaaaaay too slow is creating a dangerous situation for every driver around them. It's best to jump into your lifted 4-wheel drive and blow their doors off.
3. HIGH-TORQUE REAR-WHEEL-DRIVE MORONS
Camaros and Mustangs are a blast to drive, and there's something to be said for the excitement of spinning cookies in a snowy parking lot. But trying to make it up the hill on Olympia St. in Kennewick before it's sanded sends these drivers into the idiot zone. Pedal to the metal only makes it worse, but at least your custom exhaust pipes sound good.
4. NOT A WORRY, NOT A CARE
This driver may have roots in Montana or Idaho and the snow in Tri-Cities 'ain't nothing' to them. This can also happen with all-wheel-drive commuters. It's not until that sneaky black ice in a round-a-bout sneaks up on them that they realize they are mere mortals who must now visit the body shop.
5. I DRIVE AS CONDITIONS ALLOW
This is the rarest of all the winter drivers. Having the pleasure to be surrounded by drivers like this almost never happens. This driver goes neither too fast nor too slow. This driver understands basic physics and knows that braking distances will surely be longer in slick conditions. This driver doesn't follow too close or change lanes suddenly. This driver is basically a unicorn.
Here's an example of fun winter driving courtesy of the Griswold family in Christmas Vacation...