Your humble ScreenCrush editor devotes a fair amount of his brain power to the world of movie food. That typically means eating unhealthy quantities of consumables from movie tie-in menus. For too long, though, he’s looked beyond the movie theater while ignoring the bountiful cornucopia of degustation available at the local multiplex.

To that end, he has spent the last several weeks and months carefully sampling (in most cases resampling, let’s be honest) the vast array of movie theater concessions in order to rank them all on a definitive master list. That list does not include popcorn, the obvious, best movie theater snack, for one simple reason: It is a snack, not a candy. That’s the same reason you won’t find hot dogs, nachos, chicken tenders, and the rest of theaters’ often-questionable savory food items below. This is just a list of movie candies.

You might be wondering what sort of scientific criteria he applied to the creation of such a list. Here was his methodology: He ate a lot of movie candy. That was pretty much it.

The results are arguably more personal than objective. You may find you disagree. Just know that this list was made with passion, sincerity, and more than a little indigestion. From worst to first, our picks are:

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