AN OPEN LETTER...

I know everybody hates wearing face masks but we are still in the throes of a funky pandemic, so I am begging you to keep wearing it everywhere you go outside. I don't want your rusty, crusty COVID germs breathing all over my kid.

via GIPHY

A NEW FACE MASK MANDATE IN WASHINGTON BEGINS SOON

We have a new indoor face mask mandate for Washington state businesses and employees that goes into effect on Monday, August 23, and all state and military personnel have to wear one inside, too. School staff and the kids that attend public schools will be rocking those things, too, and for good reason.

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AT THE STORE

Keep your funky COVID germs away from me when I'm at the grocery store, especially when we are in the 20 items or less lane. If one more customer at the store rolls up on me inches away from my face when I'm setting down my stuff on the conveyor belt, I am going to scream. Look, if you are SO CLOSE to me in the checkout lane that I can smell the Wild Turkey on your breath, YOU'RE TOO DANG CLOSE, BRO! (Bro is used by me as a gender non-specific word.) It's called SIX FEET. I need at least six feet of S P A C E from you.

AT SCHOOL

Keep your funky COVID germs away from my daughter when she is in class, the cafeteria, or in the hallway. I know how some teachers like to YELL in ALL CAPS at the kids in school, even when they are speaking, and that increases the likelihood that some of that all-caps spittle is gonna land in my baby's hair or worse, on her skin. That's why I am grateful for the mandatory face mask requirement for teachers AND kids for now.

AT WORK

Keep your funky COVID germs away from me at work, and this goes out to that one special person at work who likes to get a little too close when telling all the gossip by the water cooler. Hey PALLY, us co-workers are not immune from you passing out your rusty, crusty COVID germs, especially since we all have to share the same copy and coffee machines.

IN CONCLUSION

I guess my overall point is, wearing a face mask all the time everywhere we go outside our house is worse than wearing too-tight corduroy pants on a 99 degree day in the Yakima Valley summertime, but for now, wearing one is the MININUM we can do to keep that funky coronavirus away each other.