Writing about the latest developments in movie-centric news isn’t a bad job, by any means — I could be mining ore and plucking chickens like my Eastern European forefathers — but some days still make you wanna sharpen up your morning coffee with something a little stronger. The recent trend of movie studios airing brief mini-trailers to tease the release of upcoming slightly-longer trailers numbers among my least favorite developments in online buzz-cultivating, and leave it to Zack Snyder and the DC Extended Universe to take that to the next level. Running a trailer for the trailer is some weak bull, the sort of thing those nerds at Marvel would do — this is DC, baby, where they run five trailers for the trailer.

So far, we’ve only seen four of the brief character-centric teasers. Ben Affleck’s eternally sadfaced Batman made a very sad face and joyrode the Batmobile, Ezra Miller’s Flash did prayer-hands, Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman smashed her bracelets together, and Jason Momoa’s Aquaman seized his trident to command the mighty waves. (And, for once, I do not mean ‘seized his trident’ as a euphemism.) We patiently await a glimpse of fellow Justice League Cyborg, or the inevitably revived Dead Superman, likely to be unveiled as today progresses.

The question, then, is what these videos reveal about the film they were created to hype. And the answer is nothing, really! Because they‘re so short! What salient information about a film can be communicated in 15 seconds? Please, DC, if you be merciful, put an end to the tyranny of trailers-for-trailers. We can only take so much.

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