An Open Letter to Those Who Can’t Seem to Get Pregnant
I debated sharing this on a larger platform than my personal Facebook page but I've started doing a segment called Affirmations with Sarah J on-air. I find one early each morning and it has been really comforting to discover the words and encouragement not only for myself but for others as we roll with the ebbs and flows of life. I never know what I will choose but today's was a big one for me.
I'll start it off with how excited I was to read and see the photos of a glowing Rihanna walking around New York City with her boyfriend A$AP Rocky, her bump exposed in the stylish way that Rihanna does, and the headline reading "A$AP Rocky and Rihanna Expecting Child"
This is a moment that most people dream of and I am SO happy that they not only have found each other but also are creating a bond that will last a lifetime. Today when I read it, I didn't have one pang of jealousy or sadness. A big deal for me and I will explain why.
I wrote the following on December 15th, 2021
Shout-out to the ladies who wish they could get pregnant but it just doesn't happen. We are a special breed that gets to enjoy the freedoms of no children as we grow older while also carrying an ache for that which will not be.
For all those who smile and nod when people say, "oh, you just wait and it will happen." Or bury ignorant comments like" why doesn't she just give him a baby?"
I thought maybe this time it would be two lines. Every time I hope that's the case but years of this has made me realize that having a biological child just isn't what I'm supposed to do.
Before you provide suggestions on how I might conceive, I'm going to stop you, please.
Been there and done that. We've gone as far as we want to and will not be spending more on Doctors' appointments only to come up with the same results.
I'm rounding the corner on 40 and feel so happy and fulfilled instead of angry and sad.
It doesn't break my heart when my period comes like it used to. I had some hot flashes when I started my new workout in October and I quietly thought to myself that maybe it finally stuck. When I went an entire month without a period in November I pushed aside the thought that I could be pregnant but as the two-month mark neared I figured, now or never. Let's pee all over our hands once more while trying to capture some in a cup to test. I didn't want to say it out loud in case I jinxed it. I scrolled through Facebook while the three-minute wait ticked down and wrapped it up reading about a lady who'd created a fertility charm for her friend. Maybe that was my sign. I checked the ******* stick and wasn't shocked.
One line. No babies.
Perhaps I've hit menopause. I mean ****, if I can't have a baby what's the point of a period anyway?
Yes, I know that I can adopt. There are so many children that are in need of a good home and I look forward to that at some point but damn.
Just had to share for those other ladies who silently pretend they don't care about it while it feels like everyone is having and raising their babies.
You're going to be fine, as will I. Keep crushing your goals and thriving regardless.
Meditation, yoga, and my Starcycle Yakima workouts have helped me in ways I had no idea. Also sharing. I cried more times than I could count reading what I wrote, the words kind of spilled out of me at the time, and today, when I did my affirmation I found the words to speak for those who sit in silence once more. I want you to feel strong and happy so if nothing else, know you are not alone and you are so much more than the babies you create. For those that do create them, good on ya! Make sure to hug them a little tighter tonight because you are blessed in ways that some of us will never know.
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